Wedding planning looks different from how it did a generation ago. More couples are approaching the process as a partnership, making decisions together and creating celebrations that reflect both people rather than just the bride’s vision.
As grooms become more involved in everything from venue selection and guest-experience decisions to budgeting and wedding-weekend planning, many couples are asking a new question: How can we make the celebration reflect both of us?
The answer isn’t about dividing every decision equally. Instead, it’s about creating opportunities for both partners to contribute in meaningful ways.
In this article, we’ll explore:
- Why more grooms are becoming active participants in wedding planning
- Insights from a real Treasury groom on the modern wedding planning experience
- Meaningful ways grooms can contribute to and personalize the wedding experience
- How couples can create a celebration that reflects both partners
- Why the groom’s wedding-day experience deserves thoughtful planning too
- How The Reserve at The Treasury helps create a more polished and comfortable start to the wedding day
Groom having a drink in The Reserve at The Treasury on the Plaza. | Jennifer Catherine Photo
Why More Grooms Are Taking an Active Role in Wedding Planning
The idea that weddings are planned by one person while the other simply shows up doesn’t reflect how many couples approach the process today.
For many engaged couples, wedding planning is one of the first major projects they’ll tackle together. Choosing a venue, building a budget, managing family expectations, researching vendors, and making hundreds of decisions along the way requires communication and collaboration.
As a result, more couples are treating wedding planning as a shared experience rather than dividing responsibilities based on tradition.
That doesn’t mean every decision needs to be made together or that both people need to care equally about every detail. Most couples naturally gravitate toward different parts of the planning process.
For example, one person may have strong opinions about photography while the other is more invested in entertainment, food and beverage selections, or guest experience. What matters is that both partners have opportunities to shape a wedding that feels authentic to them.
The Wall Street Journal recently explored this trend, noting that “the involved groom helps set a healthy precedent for a marriage and reflects a desire to build a true union.” That perspective resonates with many couples because wedding planning often becomes an early exercise in teamwork. The conversations that happen while planning a wedding can help establish how a couple will approach future decisions long after the celebration ends.
Just as importantly, increased involvement often leads to a more personal wedding experience. When both partners contribute ideas, priorities, and meaningful details, the wedding becomes less about following expectations and more about creating something that reflects the relationship itself.
Bride and groom in The Reserve at The Treasury on the Plaza. | Jennifer Catherine Photo
What Does an Involved Groom Actually Look Like?
One reason this trend has gained so much attention is that people often define involvement differently.
Some assume being an involved groom means having an opinion on every wedding decision. Others picture a groom taking responsibility for specific categories like music, transportation, or the bachelor party. In reality, involvement looks different for every couple.
The common thread is that involved grooms are helping create a wedding that feels representative of both partners rather than simply checking a box or fulfilling a traditional role.
A Treasury Groom’s Perspective
Every couple approaches wedding planning differently, but hearing from someone who’s currently in the process offers a helpful perspective. We asked Treasury groom Peter Petrella about his experience planning alongside his fiancée, Nadine, what has surprised him most, and what advice he’d share with other grooms who want to take an active role in creating a wedding that reflects both partners.
What aspects of the planning process have you enjoyed most so far?
My favorite aspect of the planning process has been figuring out what sentimental details that my fiancée and I want to incorporate into our wedding. We’ve talked about a few different ways to creatively spin our relationship into traditional aspects of the wedding, and we’re very excited for our guests to experience it with us.
What has surprised you most about planning a wedding?
The most surprising part for me was how many moving parts and pieces go into making the wedding possible. On paper, weddings seem so straightforward. We’re realizing that if a wedding looks like it’s going smoothly, the wedding planners and staff have done an excellent job.
How have you and your partner approached planning? Have you divided responsibilities, tackled things together, or used a combination of both?
Nadine (my fiancée) and I have always led our relationship with communication, mutual respect, and playing into each other’s strengths. Our wedding planning process has been no different. Between the two of us, I’m better at keeping things on track and organized, while she’s better at having the ideas and knowing exactly how she wants things. We keep each other very balanced in that way, and neither of us feels like we’re taking on too much because it’s truly a duality dynamic.
Which wedding decisions have been most important to you personally?
Some of the biggest decisions for me have been making sure that the venue itself is accessible for my dad. My dad typically has to use a walker or an electric scooter, so making sure that we have a venue that supports his accessibility and doesn’t make him feel like a burden has been such a huge priority for me. (You’d be surprised at how many inaccessible venues we’ve come across.) That being said, I also love a good bar setup!
What are you most looking forward to during the engagement and planning process?
I’m most looking forward to sitting down with our DJ and planning that aspect of our wedding! Both my fiancée and I come from an entertainment background, so seeing our happiest day come to life through lighting, music, and dancing will be such an important part of our wedding.
What are you most looking forward to on the wedding day itself?
If I had to guess, I would truly say that our wedding will feel like the day that we first spent time with each other at a bar with my friends. The entire night, even surrounded by people, the only person in the room that had my attention was her. I have no doubt that the second she walks down the aisle, it will bring me right back to that night.
What advice would you give to other grooms who want to take a more active role in planning?
I think that it’s important to remember that the wedding is for both of you to show your commitment and love for each other. Part of that commitment is showing up and supporting your partner during the planning process. Everything is easier when you work together, and you’ll be spending a lifetime of working together—there’s no better time to start than now.
Peter’s experience highlights something many couples discover as they plan together: being an involved groom isn’t about having an opinion on every detail. It’s about contributing in meaningful ways, communicating openly, and creating a celebration that feels authentic to both partners. With that mindset, there are countless opportunities for each person to help shape the wedding experience.
Make the Wedding Feel Like His Day Too
One of the biggest misconceptions about groom involvement is that it requires creating separate experiences: one for him, one for her.
In reality, making the wedding feel meaningful to both partners is usually about creating opportunities for each person to contribute to the parts of the celebration they care about most.
1. Choose a Venue That Reflects Both Partners
Since the venue influences everything from guest count and budget to photography and logistics, it often becomes one of the most important decisions a couple makes together.
Many couples find that venue tours become one of the first major planning decisions they make together because the setting needs to support both partners’ vision for the celebration. Rather than focusing on what one person wants, the conversation often becomes about the type of experience they want to create for themselves and their guests.
As you’re planning your wedding, look for opportunities to make decisions together and create experiences that reflect both partners. Schedule a tour of The Treasury on the Plaza to see how its historic spaces can support the celebration you want to create.
Bride and groom in front of The Vault at The Treasury. | Sarah Cebulski Photography
2. Help Shape the Guest Experience
Guests may not remember every décor detail years from now, but they often remember how a wedding felt.
The music, entertainment, surprises, and overall energy of the celebration can have a lasting impact. This is one area where many grooms naturally enjoy participating because it focuses on creating experiences rather than selecting individual design elements.
That might mean helping choose a live band, planning interactive entertainment, creating welcome bags, recommending favorite local spots for out-of-town guests, or organizing wedding weekend activities.
Jacksonville Jaguars mascot, Jaxon de Ville, surprised the groom during a wedding reception at The Treasury on the Plaza. | Nikki Golden Photography
3. Bring Your Personality Into Food and Beverage Decisions
Food and drinks provide countless opportunities for personalization.
Many grooms love to be involved in decisions about favorite foods, signature cocktails, meaningful menu selections, family recipes, or late-night snacks. These details often become some of the most memorable elements of the guest experience because they’re personal, unexpected, and uniquely connected to the couple.
The groom, Miles, enjoys a late-night snack from Taco Bell. | 28 North Photography
4. Have a Voice in Photography and Videography
Photography and videography decisions shape how you’ll remember the wedding long after the celebration ends.
While style is important, personality fit matters too. Finding photographers and videographers that both partners feel comfortable around often leads to a better overall experience and more authentic images.
This is also a great opportunity to discuss which moments matter most to each person, whether that’s candid interactions, family portraits, emotional moments, or the overall story of the day.
Christopher brought in his pup to make sure she was included in the family photos. | Angelita Esparar
5. Incorporate Family Traditions and Personal Details
Some of the most meaningful wedding moments have nothing to do with trends.
Family traditions, cultural customs, meaningful heirlooms, personal vows, and ways of honoring loved ones often become the details couples remember most. These elements help create a wedding that feels deeply personal while celebrating the people who helped shape your lives.
Rudy’s groom cake featured his favorite MLB and college teams. | We are the Bowsers
6. Think Beyond the Wedding Day
Many grooms naturally become involved in planning experiences beyond the ceremony and reception themselves.
Bachelor parties, rehearsal dinners, welcome events, group outings, and honeymoon planning all provide opportunities to create memorable experiences and contribute to the overall celebration.
Emma and Jared’s wedding rehearsal dinner at the San Sebastian Winery. | Amanda Michelle Photography
Ways to Help the Groom Feel Celebrated on Wedding Day
Are you looking for ways to make the wedding day feel special for your future spouse?
A few simple ideas include:
- Writing a letter or private vows to be read before the ceremony
- Planning a meaningful gift
- Incorporating a favorite shared memory into the celebration
- Finding a way to include a beloved pet
- Honoring family traditions that are important to him
The most meaningful gestures are usually the ones that feel personal to your relationship rather than performative or elaborate.
Ernani’s bride, Jessica, made him a comic book of their love story. | Southern Palms Studio
The Groom’s Getting-Ready Experience Deserves a Real Plan
One of the easiest parts of a wedding day to overlook is the groom’s getting-ready experience.
Many couples spend months planning bridal suite details, hair and makeup schedules, detailed photos, and morning timelines. Meanwhile, the groom and groomsmen often end up getting ready wherever space happens to be available.
It’s rarely intentional, but it can affect more of the day than couples realize.
The getting-ready location is more than just a place to put on a suit. It’s where the groom spends some of the final hours before one of the biggest moments of his life. It’s where he shares a drink with his closest friends, exchanges gifts, reads a letter from his partner, has special moments with family members, and begins to process the excitement and anticipation of the day ahead.
When the space is thoughtfully planned, it creates an opportunity to slow down and enjoy those moments instead of feeling rushed, crowded, or distracted by logistics.
Of course, the practical benefits matter, too. A comfortable space gives photographers room to work, creates better opportunities for portraits, simplifies transportation, and helps the timeline run more smoothly. But perhaps more importantly, it allows the groom to be fully present for the experience itself.
A successful getting-ready space doesn’t need to be elaborate, but it should include a few key elements:
- Enough room for the wedding party to gather comfortably
- Natural light and attractive surroundings for photos
- Areas for both socializing and quieter moments
- Convenient access to restrooms, water, and other essentials
- Space for food, drinks, and refrigeration if you’ll be spending several hours there
- Privacy and separation from the bridal suite, if a first look or aisle reveal is important to you
- A comfortable environment where the groom can relax, connect with friends and family, and enjoy the morning
After all, the getting-ready portion of the day isn’t just preparation for the wedding. It’s part of the wedding day itself.
The groom should also look and feel his best on wedding day. Hiring a barber to come to your venue for a fresh cut is a great way to pamper the groom.
How The Reserve Creates a More Thoughtful Experience for the Groom
Located adjacent to The Treasury on the Plaza, The Reserve was designed specifically with the groom’s experience in mind. Rather than gathering in a crowded hotel room or searching for a place to spend the morning, couples have access to a dedicated space where the groom and his wedding party can relax, prepare, and enjoy the hours leading up to the ceremony.
The space offers room to gather comfortably, whether that means sharing a meal, watching a game, exchanging gifts, reading a letter from a partner, or simply spending time with friends and family before the celebration begins. With comfortable seating, a private restroom, and space for food and drinks, The Reserve is designed to support both the practical and personal aspects of the wedding morning.
For couples who want to preserve the anticipation of seeing each other for the first time, The Reserve also provides a separate location from the bridal suite, helping create privacy while keeping everyone conveniently close to the venue.
One of the biggest advantages is convenience. Because The Reserve is located next to The Treasury on the Plaza, there is less travel to coordinate and a smoother transition into portraits, first looks, and the ceremony itself. Keeping preparations close to the venue allows the day to flow naturally while reducing unnecessary stress and transportation logistics.
The Reserve also provides a polished setting for getting-ready photos. These moments often become an important part of a wedding gallery, helping tell the story of the day from beginning to end. A dedicated space gives photographers additional opportunities to capture meaningful interactions before guests arrive and the celebration begins.
Couples may also choose to pair The Reserve with The Plaza Suite, creating dedicated getting-ready spaces for both partners and ensuring that each person has a thoughtful, comfortable place to experience the morning.
At its core, The Reserve is about more than convenience. It’s about creating space for the groom to be present, enjoy the company of the people around him, and fully experience a meaningful part of the wedding day.
Interested in learning more about The Reserve? Explore the space and see how it can help create a more seamless wedding-day experience at The Treasury on the Plaza.
Creating a Wedding That Feels Like Yours
The rise of the involved groom is about creating a celebration that reflects both partners and the life they’re building together.
A thoughtfully planned wedding day should feel meaningful for everyone involved, including the groom. Whether that’s through guest experience decisions, family traditions, or a more intentional getting-ready experience, small details can have a lasting impact on how the day feels.
For couples getting married at The Treasury on the Plaza, The Reserve offers a convenient option for making the groom’s side of the day feel more comfortable, organized, and connected to the overall wedding experience.
